Recently I have had a lot of things going on in my life, I left university and said goodbye to a lot of friends, I got a proper after-uni job, I moved house, I quit my proper after-uni job. It’s all been a bit up in the air, but now I actually have time to breathe.
Since I was small I have always had the idea that work is not something you enjoy, you go there you come back and times that by five, then you have two days of, one of which you spend dreading the impending Monday. Then I got older and I got one of these job things, but it was part-time and I was young, so I didn’t work much. Then I got a little older and worked a little more, at a few different places and I thought oh I see what all the adults where complaining about now. I dreaded going in each day and just generally felt awful about it, so I quit. And as it turned out, I wasn’t in the right job. Because then I got another job and everything felt better, I didn’t hate going into work, I made friends with my colleagues and I knew what I was doing and this continued being the case until recently.
Very sadly I had to leave my term time job at my university because we were moving, I left behind some lovely, fun people and the best work conditions I had known. But I soon got picked up by another job and started this just three days after leaving university. Was this too quick? Yes it was, I rushed into it, I didn’t think about what I really wanted and I just went for the first things that looked kind of interesting and offered me money. As it happened, this place made me dread going in each day, it just wasn’t for me and so with a lot of thought put into it, I quit.
I don’t want you thinking I’m a quitter, because I’m not. But if I am not happy and I am not excited for my life, then I feel there is no point and I need to cut out that thing that is making me feel like that. So throughout my life, that is what I have done. I don’t want to become a statistic, but I also don’t want to be another button pusher in a company that I will hate. For now, at 21 I want the happy life, working somewhere that I have a passion for. It is my dream to be able to work with books and I would love to be able to get into the industry! I have been looking for jobs in my nearest bookshops in the hope that one of them will want me! I also have the ambition of building myself up as a photographer and potentially starting to get paid for this, so to work in a bookshop alongside being a photographer, would be my ideal. And who knows, maybe I will try my hand at writing the book idea that has been in my head for a few months now.
I guess the rather longwinded point of this post is, if you are not happy with something in life and it is something that you can change, then do it. I quit my job whilst I still had financial commitments, I have payments coming out of my bank each month, with no income – but for me I needed to cut myself loose. I know I will get money, but I also know the ways I am willing to achieve that. I worry that saying I want to be a photographer, or perhaps start writing a book are ideas that people will dismiss as things that won’t get me any money – but I think if I work hard and show my passion then I can make my life work like this. I can’t see myself being behind a desk every day and when I have told some people that (usually those who are a lot older than me) they say that that is what work is. Well I am refusing to accept that, I will become someone who is worthy of my own approval, I will make something of myself, hopefully in the creative world.
If there are any impressionable young people reading this, don’t let others decide your future for you. And don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t good enough to do something, my head of sixth form told me I wouldn’t go to university and here I am, a graduate with a high 2:1, and I’ve had some of the best years of my life so far. Take a deep breath and think about the decisions you make before you say yes to them, not every opportunity is a good one.
I know this post has nothing really to do with books, but I just wanted to share it with you guys. If I can help one person then that will have been worth it.